What the.... winged assailant

Readers,

I was in a hardware store the other day and most days(yet I am not all that handy) and I saw this rather large bird(pigeon) waddling down the aisle like he was a customer, going back and forth check out things on each side of the aisle. I considered this bird slightly comical with his incarnate qualities.  So naturally…like the nut I am… I froze right where I was. I cautiously reached into my purse and grabbed my handy camera phone checking all the while that my little friend wasn't startled and leaving. I then slowwwly crept forward and down much like a mime going down stairs and when I was appropriately crouched and FAR closer to the bird than this picture makes it seem, I snapped a photo.

 See???

Immediately after the bird all but attacked me, flying in a bee line towards me while wildly flapping it's wings in my face. I did not scream. I did however run and not so gracefully. I untangled my crouching tiger pose (there may have been a wavy arm balancing myself movement involved) and ran back down the aisle to hide behind paint cans. With just my eye poked out I saw him fly up up up into the rafters above. I can only assume he was waiting for me to walk under so he could finish the job with an air strike poo.  Of course I’m no dodo so I walked in the opposite direction being sure to check that no one had seen or was rolling over laughing at my stand off with a bird….