Here comes February

I thought of you yesterday. For a long time.

Then, Blackbird played on Pandora this morning for the first time in a long time. The Beatles in general remind me of you, and plenty of their songs make me ache in that way that great songs do. But, Blackbird does me in every time, not in a teary way though, this one actually makes me happy and I nearly always have to listen to it at least twice. 

Eleven years has flown by, Soldier is my constant reminder. I went out and adopted him a week after you died, he was my savior for a long time. He is old and grey now. He is so far from the puppy I adopted 11 years ago. He still loves to visit the dog park.  He jumps in the car and smiles the entire drive to, then runs his heart out; but, when we are done his legs are too tired and he needs to be lifted back into the car. Times like those I really stop and think about how old he is, how long you've been gone and what life would be like if you weren't. And that, can leave me brimming with both joyful and gloomy feelings for days. Don't worry too much though, I tend to work it out. :)

 It's just that it is almost February and, February will always weigh heavy on my heart.

I hope you're well. Know you're missed in all of your wise, creative, tall, and stubborn ways. Love always.